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  • Melissa Orquiza

Fresh Strawberry Corn Muffins, Wine Day, UB40, Doja Cat, War, Mark Ronson, Amy Winehouse, & Orff

Fresh Strawberry Corn Muffins, National Wine Day, UB40, Doja Cat, War, Mark Ronson, Amy Winehouse, & Orff

Originally Published May 19, 2021

May 25 is National Wine Day. Although I’ve never really been a big drinker, my husband, my friends and family like to drink. I’ll have a sip or two from his glass and call it a day. If I'm feeling particularly silly, a shot glass. I personally enjoy watching others having a good time and I don’t mind refilling their drinks or offering food. I love having fun, but I also don’t like to teeter too close to bad decision making, now that I am a mother.

We’ve all been recipients of drunk texts. Sadly, in my youth, I’ve been the recipient of drunk texts, drunk phone calls, drunk messages, drunk fights, drunk knocks on the door, drunk singing and drunk playing. I was raised culturally to be "nice" and I was taught to deal with disagreements in a more circular fashion. Asian and Western culture are at times, complete opposites. Once, while practicing, I had a drunk neighbor ask if he could just sit in my living room and watch me practice. I literally had to apologize to him (so his feelings wouldn’t get hurt), told him I was flattered, and then told him I needed to concentrate (while kicking him out). He pleaded with me (he obviously was sad and lonely). I then spent the next few months checking the hallways and taking the stairs to avoid him in the elevator. That’s the tip of the iceberg.

I had never learned to mix a drink until one of my first Hollywood jobs and I was surrounded by musicians who drank. I’d always order a drink or two to be “social” but would rarely finish it unless I was with a serious boyfriend. Even now, when musicians or friends celebrate, I rarely imbibe due to the result of all the ridiculous things I’ve witnessed over the years: compounded with the fact that I’m now a wife and mother and the bull**** train stops with me. Here’s to our wacky encounters with wine and living to tell the tales.

We’ve all had a momentary lapse in judgement so, in celebration of that, behold: funny drunk texts.

Funny Drunk Texts

Even funnier, a “drunk text generator.” Yes. As your funny musician, mom (who’s seen almost everything and still has a sense of humor), it’s acceptable to say “Thank you for your honesty. You’re drunk. Let’s talk in the morning.” Unfortunately, with some musicians, that means “game on”. Proceed with caution.

Drunk Text Generator

One of my first jobs was working in motion picture advertising (trailers and promos of movies). You’ve heard “Carmina Burana” a million times, but did you know it was written as a cautionary, morality tale about drinking, gambling, debauchery and hedonism? Even the Nazis thought it was too erotic…

Carmina Burana, the morality tale of drinking, gambling and other hedonistic pleasures

I think this may be truly one of the strangest things I’ve watched. (I sit in a room all day staring at multiple computer screens dealing with audio and music.) One of the commenters posted “Imagine walking and you started hearing this. I'll be like " Wtf, am I going into a boss battle?”. Bwahahaha!

Flashmob Carmina Burana

Yeah. You can’t mention “National Wine Day” without this.

UB40 - Red Red Wine (Official Video)

Great music. I’m a bit horrified looking at the video.

Olivia Newton-John - Physical (Official Video)

Yes. Because when you’re drunk, you don’t always think. So much to love in this video: sampled Olivia Newton John, tracks, a groove, the pinks and purples, and the gaming references.

Doja Cat - Kiss Me More (Official Video) ft. SZA

Classic. Too much to analyze. I think my brain might explode.

Eric Burdon & War - Spill The Wine

This is the original song, “Valarie” that Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse eventually covered. Check out how important a music producer’s job can be. The original version laid in relative obscurity while the same song, rearranged and produced completely differently, took off into the stratosphere. This is why what producers and their teams do is so important. Do you want the music to lay in obscurity or do you want the music to make money?

The Zutons - Valerie (Video)

Mark Ronson ft. Amy Winehouse - Valerie (Official Video)

Finally, here’s the woman who inspired the song “Valarie.” Inspiration is everywhere!

The Real “Valerie”

Thanks for reading! I hope this made you laugh, think, or at least take your mind off your troubles for a little while. Happy National Wine Day! Don't get into too much trouble! Have a great week! Xo, Melissa

Fresh Strawberry Corn Muffins. Perfect when you want something homey, comforting, and PRETTY!

Fresh Strawberry Corn Muffins

Adapted from “Fresh Raspberry Mini Corn Muffins,” by Ina Garten, from the “Modern Comfort Food: A Barefoot Contessa Cookbook”

My daughter adores fresh strawberries and she loves baking with me in the mornings. We made this (believe it or not) on a Tuesday morning and she went wild! Yes. You can be a superhero, too.

Makes 48 mini muffins (I used regular muffin tins)

Baking spray with flour, such as Pam

3 cups all- purpose flour

1 cup granulated sugar

1 cup fine cornmeal, such as Indian Head (I used polenta because that’s what we had).

2 tablespoons baking powder

1 tablespoon kosher salt

2 cups whole milk

2 extra-large eggs

1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted

12 ounces firm raspberries (I used halved strawberries)

2 tablespoons turbinado sugar, such as Sugar in the Raw


  1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Arrange two racks evenly spaced in the oven. Generously spray two mini muffin pans (24 mini muffins each) with the baking spray, including the tops of the pans.

  2. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, granulated sugar, cornmeal, baking powder, and salt. In a separate bowl whisk together the milk, eggs, and butter. Make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients, pour the wet ingredients into the well, and stir with a rubber spatula, just until combined. (Don’t worry if it’s a little lumpy). Set the batter aside for 15 minutes.

  3. When the batter has rested, fold the raspberries (I used strawberries) into the batter with the spatula. With a small (1 3/4 in) ice cream scoop (you can also use a spoon), fill each muffin cup with a rounded scoop of batter, making sure each one contains some raspberries (or strawberries in my case). Sprinkle the full 2 tablespoons of turbinado sugar on the muffins.

  4. Bake for 20 minutes, until the muffins spring back when gently touched and a cake tester comes out clean. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Make ahead: Prepare the batter completely, cover, and refrigerate. Scoop and bake the next day.

#freshstrawberrycornmuffins, @barefootcontessa, #strawberries, #nationalwineday, @ub40, @dojacat, @war, @markronson, @amywinehouse, & @orff, #carminaburana

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