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  • Melissa Orquiza

Pandan Golden Milk,When to Give Up, Beatles’ Golden Slumber, Carry That Weight,The End & Stevie

Updated: Mar 16, 2022

Pandan Golden Milk. Comforting, healthy, turmeric golden milk... with a twist!

Pandan Golden Milk Slideshow

Pandan Golden Milk, When to Give Up, The Beatles’ Golden Slumber, Carry That Weight, The End & Stevie Wonder

Like most people, I’ve always used comedy to protect the most sacred parts of me. Despite the fun-loving, but focused, musician demeanor, the most intimate parts of my life, I’ve fiercely guarded: knowing there are people that trample on each others lives for sport. I am extremely grateful I have been in loving longterm relationships for most of my life. My shortest relationship was two years, the one following that was ten years including the friendship beforehand, and the last one, my husband, has lasted more than twenty years (friendship included). I know it might be a bit unconventional for some, but knowing and drawing a very clear boundary about what matters most to me and my privacy, has worked.

So, while my outward demeanor at work was focused, determined, and quiet (with a hint of humor) and in my social life, I was silly and easygoing, what only my close friends and my longterm relationships knew was that I was secretly, extremely, conservatively traditional. It wasn’t forced or a “role”. I still truly enjoy domestic life and I also enjoy the stimulation of working. I would not be complete without the two. At the time, the duality was exhausting because instead of going out with an older man who could have cared for me (the way my family had hoped), I kept falling for broke, talented musicians that were my own age.

Inevitably, unless the conditions are right, are lovingly attended to, and you both decide to grow together as a couple and as individuals, relationships can break… even longterm ones. I had once read a study that for some people, after seeing a picture of an ex for both men and women, their brains actually process it as physical pain as a way to self-protect and self-regulate, especially if the breakup was traumatic (which they usually are).

I’ve watched the relationships and friendships of those around me shatter these last few years. I am currently feeling helpless, trying to understand how to “fix” it, trying to identify problems and solutions that could arise within my own marriage and relationships. I’m grateful that even though we have our silly bickering moments and moments of musician crazy, (we also work together, while raising a kid…anyone who has done that deserves a medal of honor), our partnership has worked.

Relationships don’t work without honesty, humility, humor, gratefulness, sincerity, appreciation, forgiveness and the ability to laugh at being human (we all have eyes). I’ve learned a lot from my own battlefield of relationship craziness (exclusively with musicians, which adds a whole new level of dysfunction). The errors of miscommunication can be a cause for grief or an experiment of “what can be done better.” Boredom can be replaced with laughter, complaints with cheerfulness (try to fake it…please!), and bickering with, “I don’t understand where you’re coming from. Please help me understand.” For both men and women, please don’t ever say, “I think you’re hormonal.” (Apparently, men can have PMS symptoms, too. Google it!)

I used to think boundaries were selfish, a character flaw, unenforceable, or an indication of a person’s weakness. I realize now that, it’s completely unacceptable to let someone mess with the people or priorities that are intrinsic to your life. Forgiveness is key, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you should be held accountable for another person’s poor decisions. (We all screw up. Say sorry, try to fix your behavior, and move on). As important as it is to persevere and hold on, it’s equally important to know when you need to call it quits.

Here’s an article, as it pertains to business. I’m going to refrain from any personal articles because I firmly believe only you and your partner know what’s going on in your personal life. (It’s too easy to speculate and assume… which also comes with personal bias). As fun as it is to bitch with your girlfriends, relationships are sacred. There are certain things you should not be talking with them about your partner.

When To Know When To Give Up

And finally, how can we not talk about “When To Call it Quits” without mentioning “The Beatles."

Check out a younger Paul McCartney, Eric Clapton, Mark Knopfler and Phil Collins at Royal Albert Hall. How can you not have faith in humanity after this?

Paul McCartney Golden Slumbers , Carry That Weight , The End

Finally, here's to more sunshine in our lives! Here's to laughter and love.

Stevie Wonder You Are The Sunshine Of My Life

Thanks for reading! I hope this made you think, laugh, and hopefully bring some joy into you or a friend’s life. Have a wonderful week! Here’s to crushing it! You’ve got this!

Xo, Melissa

Pandan Golden Milk

I love pandan. While Filipino desserts have gotten a huge following based on ube, the “purple yam,” I’ve always gravitated towards pandan, which is used in a lot of Chinese and Southeast Asian desserts for a subtle, vanilla sweetness. It doesn’t bombard you

over the head and is super versatile in both

sweet and savory dishes. Assertive is wonderful but I prefer more well-rounded complexity in my food.

Here’s how I make my golden milk. These are the two recipes I based it on. Feel free to make it your own!

1 Tbsp turmeric

2 cups coconut milk (or whatever is in 1 can)

2 cups almond milk

1 in. Fresh ginger root

4-6 pandan leaves knotted into little bundles (the best part)

2 Tablespoons maple syrup (or to taste)

  1. Heat coconut milk, almond milk and ginger until warm. Add turmeric. Whisk to dissolve turmeric. Add knotted pandan leaves.

  2. Continue to whisk until warm and frothy. Add maple syrup. Enjoy!


  • add cinnamon, cardamom, or honey.

  • Omit ginger

  • Add pandan flavoring if you want it look like a Pollack and/or want to play/draw with your food (in a cup).

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